wow..I been done alot of thinking this last week...and just stuff started to come to me...and make sense finally...but something that I havn't came to yet...is how can one person say something...like they love you so much...want to be with you forever...then you aren't together no more...then when you do want to be together..they don't want to be together...they say I will always love you..but I don't think it will work out...that don't make sense to me...I just wish it was easier then it is....but nothing is easy in life...just everything has to be hard...and as I get older...it becomes harder...

I know something from expereniced...nothing will compare to first love...nothing is better then first love...its when you exactly found out what love means...and you care so much for that person...and share all kinds of special memories with them...and once its over...your heart is broken...and your all depressed wishing you had them in your arms...which...I'm the one who exactly broke up with my first love..and I do regret that...and always will...now its hard to get back with her...and I have no clue if I will ever be with her again...I wish I could be..but you know...only time will tell...

I want a deep commiented realtionship...someoen I could date...be with all the time...talk to all the time..just someone I could have as my bestfriend...and hagve the best time of my life with...thats what I always wanted..but was to scared to have that...now I want it...I thought..and thats what I want in my life...a girl I can be with and last with...I wish I can have that....it just never happens for me..but I hope this one time..it happens...

PEACE

yoooo....i'm finally updating...which i havn't done for awhile..basketball season is over this wednesday....really glad...couldn't finish out a couple games on the season cause of some things...well i really like someone right now...and i really want to date them...idk if it will happen..but i hope it does...i'm moving on from michele..which its about time to date someone else..and I really like this girl...and have for sometime..I hope this works...it usually never does with me...but i'm hoping it does this time....

I've always wanted to date just one special girl...and have the realtionship last...it never does..and when I do find some special girl...that i have strong feelings for..it don't work out...but I'm really trying this time...cause this girl means more then anything to me...its amazing what she means to me....I wish she would realize that...and would like me back..and date me...and last for along time...that would mean alot to me...i would treat her like no one ever has...make her come first in my life...treat her like nothing else matters to me..but you never know if it will happen...only time can tell..and I hope it turns out like I want...

well i'm out..i'm bored..and tried..peace

I'm really confuse on who likes me and don't...like sometimes I just can't tell anymore...last night she talked to me for the first time in a week...and says she change...hard to believe honestly...i just don't believe that...and then she says she loves me so much...idk...thoughts were in my mind last night that she really don't love me that much...cause I know one person how truely loved me once...and that was shaylene...and she did everything to show her feelings...I respect her for that...everytime we would fight...she would be so upset...and would want to talk it out..and then my ex-gf never wanted to talk it out at all...she would just say because whenever i asked her..like she didn't want it fix...and it kind of seems like we weren't meant to be together..at this time...and thats what I'm going to go with...I don't want to be with her...I thought it out for awhole week..and I'm sorry to tell her...but I don't want her at this time...its not the realtionship I want...so therefore...I have moved on for good...

The realtionship I'm looking for right now...is just to have fun with her...can be wit her all the time...to hang out and have a great time...and tons of fun...and never regret anything...try new things with her...go on dates all the time...talk on the phone all the time...have her come first in my life...and treat her like she's never been treated before...and I want her to love me for who I am and what I do...and to have me come first in her life....I want a fun...but serious realtionship...that would last...and the kind of realtionship...that everyone wishes they could have...

Well I'm going to go do someone....I just woke up...and bored already...

PEACE OUT

 she pisses me off so bad...chuckie was telling me stuff...like she keeps calling him..and he is tried of it..she called kendal..and was like "HEY BABY"...and that don't only piss me off...but pisses him off...cause he respects me...and does this for me...and he don't really like her..for what she has done to me..but what she is doing now...then she want to the armory then bball courts...and was hitting on everyone else...what the hell...i didn't really notice it at first..tell 2 of my good friends...tell me...there like she's like hitting on me..i'm like what the hell...and then their like..who cares..if she is like that..then why care...and i got the point..she is trouble...trys to get me pissed...maybe she knew how to piss me off when i dated her...but she don't know how to piss me off now...i just block her out..like she isn't there..i would careless what she does...or says..it don't bother me one bit...i laugh to be honest...cause its funny what she is doing...she thinks she is friends with some ppl...like chuckie..one of my really good friends..but he don't like her...cause what she done to me..and everything...i just laugh my ass off...taht she keeps calling him..then calls kendal..lol...he don't put up with shit like that...he's a true friend..like chuckie..and gibby d...they are the best friends i have...honest with me...gives me advice...maybe if i don't want to listen...i do believe them now...but seriously..i'm done with her...i don't even know if i want to be a friend wit her anymore...cause what she is doing..maybe she don't like some of the shit i did...i do not care one fuckin bit...i do the stuff i want...and if someone don't love me for it..then they never loved me before..but i'm OVER wit her...i have moved on...

I can't wait till the macker...its going to be awesome...i'm going to be whopping some ass...it should be pretty fun...i played in it one year..but htat was back in the day..now i'm way better then ever before...i'm going to achieve a goal this summer in july..and that is to bring home the SHIP...its going to feel awesome..i'm going to work my ass off to achieve this goal...and help one of my really true friends...to achieve the same goal...practicing everyday...do whatever it takes to achieve the goal...and i will achieve it..no matter what it takes...determation is what it takes...and i'm putting everything into it...in july come watch us..support us..cause we are going to make a name of areselves...

I WANT TO THANK ALL MY TRUE FRIENDS...I REALLY APPERCITED WHAT YOU DID FOR ME...AND HOW YOUR HONEST WITH ME...IT MEANS ALOT TO ME..I WANT TO THANK YOU...AND CONTIUNE BEING GOOD FRIENDS...

PEACE